The Nutcracker Spoof
by FrostedMidnight
Summary: What happens when you combine a ballet about a nutcracker with a show containing wooden puppets? Apparently Karon/Edel crack pairings. Written for the Ballet Couples contest at devaintart. Karon/Edel crack pairing. ONESHOT.


There was nothing quite so enjoyable as a cup of nutmeg and peppermint tea on a cold winters day. Well, that, and a little silence never hurt either Karon thought running a hand through his silver hair. He glanced down at the invader in his kitchen, a certain big eyed puppet child who was currently gazing at him, her blue eyes the epitome of innocence. That thought made Karon give a mental snort as Uzura turned back to her task.

For the last several minutes, she had been attempting to use her drumsticks as nutcrackers, banging on the nuts she had placed on the floor with a determined expression. Karon sighed. He had confiscated her drum from earlier that morning for the sake of his sanity, but the little puppet was steadfast in her efforts to annoy him into an early grave.

The sound of his sigh refocused his adorable nuisance's attention upon him, her eyes studying him curiously.

"Karon is sad-zura?" she questioned him. he looked contemplatively at the puppet a moment before he spoke. "No, not sad exactly." he replied taking a sip of his tea.

"Then why do you look as if your face is going to crumple and leek?" Uzura said blinking up at him. The question, asked with such blunt innocence, startled a laugh from the elderly man.

"I suppose I am just in a contemplative mood today Uzura." he answered the little puppet with a small smile.

"Oooh. does that mean your thinking about your love-love-zura?"

"My..no Uzura, thats not exactly what I meant."

"Oh. Okay then-zura." and with that, the little girl that wasn't toddled out of the kitchen chanting love-love-love and banging her drumsticks together for lack of a drum. Karon stared after her with a look of bemused amusement on his face.

"Love-love indeed." He murmured putting his head down on the kitchen table.

Karon's head jerked up as Uzura ran back into the kitchen and latched onto his leg.

"What's the matter Uzura?" he questioned concerned.

"The rats are coming." She stated still clinging to him. As she spoke his kitchen was invaded. Four rats larger than Uzura, dressed in blue, and armed with mean looking broadswords entered his cosy kitchen.

"What in the..." with that exclamation he pushed Uzura behind him, just as one of the rats leapt at him with an evil expression in its beady red eyes. He managed to block with his teacup, the only thing he had in his hand at that moment, causing it to shatter and covering the rat with its contents.

The thing shrieked enraged, its gray fur sopping with the liquid. Just as it moved to attack again, a bright light filled the kitchen, accompanied by the sound of music. When Karon regained his vision, the rats where all sleeping peacefully on his kitchen floor, and the music seemed to have ceased. Karon stared at the rats, utterly confused.

"What in the..." He muttered again. He then turned to check on the puppet child, but the sight that greeted him was not the one he expected. Instead of the small drum playing Uzura, there stood the not so small music box wielding Edel. Karon stared in shock at the puppet woman. He could clearly see that she was Uzura's counterpart, but he was baffled by her appearance in his kitchen, especially after the story from his godson about how she had sacrificed herself for him in fiery glory, hence the appearance of the annoyingly lovable Uzura.

"How..."

The puppet woman smiled at him strangely."Hello again Karon."

"Again? But...we haven't met before?"

"Haven't we?" the woman merely looked at him. "Time flows in many directions, now and then are all the same."

Karon looked at her puzzled."What do you..never mind..how did you get here? And what happened to Uzura."

The puppet woman touched her heart, well where her heart would be if she had one. "We two are one, when there was need, I came. When the need has passed once again shall I."

" I don't quite understand what you mean. You and Uzura are interchangeable? When did that happen? Has it happened before? and why are there rats in my kitchen?"

She glanced at the rats and her head tilted slightly. " They are here because of you. No more and no less."

"What? why me? what did I ever do to provoke child sized rats into attacking me?" Karon looked at Edel who seemed to hold all the answers, unfortunately, they were so cryptic that he felt he would never understand them. She merely smiled strangely at him again and offered him her hand. He looked at her uncertainly, but took it nonetheless. The kitchen began to spin, and suddenly it wasn't his kitchen at all. Instead he stood in a ballroom. But no ordinary ballroom. Oh, no, this ballroom's walls, floor, and ceiling were entirely covered in large jewels. He stared in shock at the scene around him, then looked to Edel who was still grasping his hand.

"Where..are we? Why did you bring me here?" Karon looked at her, slightly angry and completely frazzled.

" We are here because your dreams are here." Edel said tilting her head to the side.

"My..dreams? Does this mean that this is all a dream?" Edel merely smiled as the jeweled walls seemed to come to life and began to dance before his eyes. Inside the swirling jewels, Karon saw glimpses of himself. He saw himself with Fakir, with Uzura, and with Edel, each scene flashing before his eyes with dazzling speed. As the dreams rolled by, Edel took his hands and they began to dance.

"Edel..what does this mean?" Karon questioned looking into the puppet womans eyes, now positive that someone must have added something to his tea.

"Your dreams mean what you want them. Good or bad is for you to decide." Edel smiled at him again and leaned in towards him, stopping their dance. She kissed his cheek softly as the spinning gems began to turn the world black and he was encased in darkness.

Karon jerked his head up with a start to find big blue eyes very close to his face. Startled, he glanced around to find that he was once again in his kitchen and everything was as it should be, apart from the puppet girl who was currently standing on his table.

"Uzura! Get down from the table." He said with a smile at the puppet child.

"Ok-zura." she said happily jumping down from the table. she then proceeded from the room chanting love-love once again. Karon looked at his mug of tea suspiciously and sighed. "So...it really was all a dream..."

_Dreams can be whatever we want them to be_.

"Edel?" Karon looked around, sure he had heard her voice, but he was alone in his kitchen. Shaking his head, he dumped the rest of his tea down the sink and left the room to find Uzura before she could cause any more trouble than he was sure she was at the moment.

Somewhere deep inside a small puppet child, a woman smiled a knowing smile.

_Fin_


End file.
